Crazy times, Good times

Mom: Azel, Stop This Right Now.

Me (Thinking): Haha, Damage Done >:D. Me (Saying): Umm, Sorry. :(

The above has been a part of my daily routine ever since I was capable of doing the Stop-This-Right-Now genre of things. It all began with (as far as I can remember), when I started to crawl-walk and put my fingers in the electric sockets. Solution: Mom had to put cello tape on the ones which I could reach. Me: I found taking off the cello tape as much fun :D

Then, once I learnt how to talk: Haha, Mom is still trying to come to terms with that. All the Ice Cream wallahs made it a point to really make their presence felt when they were anywhere near my house, and due to my deep sense of courtesy, I just had to buy an Ice cream; Mom apparently had stronger emotions dominating over courteousness. Solution: She used to make me sleep with her in the afternoon, I hated Siesta then, it’s more like bliss now. Me: I used to sneak out once she slept, call the Ice-cream wallahs and get free ice-creams, well, they were free for me; they did however take the money later from mom, which I came to know pretty late in life. :D

Then came “School”, each day I used to cry and cry and cry and cry, while my mom tried to leave me at school. Mind  you, it didn’t stop at crying, I used to keep running back to her, ultimately it took two-three “Maasi”s, to carry me back to class and then to keep me sitting in my place till the teacher came. Solution: The school kept a pet parrot near my classroom, which distracted me till mom left. Me: I liked the parrot, it was after my teacher came that I began crying like crazy, till I got chocolates and a chance to sit at the teacher’s desk while the rest of the mortals cried at their little desks. Nursery was fun :D

Kids see cartoons while they eat their food; I ate only when the song “Mere Haathon Mein Nau Nau Churiyan Hain” from the movie “Chandni” came on TV. My mom had to buy the video cassette and play it on the VCR so that I would eat, much to the anger and resentment of the rest of the kids at home as their “Tom and Jerry” had to be stopped or paused for my “Mere Haathon Mein Nau Nau churiyan” time. My cousins still tell me, “Bachpan se hi nautanki hai.”:D I used to play songs from DDLJ, HAHK etc in the music system, and change my clothes so that it matched with each song and then dance to it.

I learnt how to use the phone at home, I used to dial random numbers, and say “Hello, Mera naam Nisha hai (Madhuri, in HAHK), kya main Prem se baat kar sakti hoon?” And then cough, *Uhhu Uhhu*. The telephone and I have been in love with each other for ages now, Solution: Child Lock. Me: I started answering the phone each time it rang. Luckily, it rang a lot, with two doctors at home I got a chance to diagnose a lot of patients and kept telling them, “Agar aapko sardi hai toh Dilosyn lena, bahut tasty hota hai.”

One thing that still irritates mom is my obsession with the mirror, I used to take mom’s sari and dress up and pose in front of the mirror; I still do that. Problem is that I haven’t learnt how to fold the sari yet. Mom is yet to find a solution for this and me, well I have two full length mirrors in my room and access to mom’s saris :D

Mom keeps telling me though, that the good part was that when guests came she could easily be in the kitchen, making tea or whatever for the guests and not worry about leaving them alone because I was always there. Apparently I was very good company even at the age of 5, I spoke to anyone or anything in sight, I started dancing or modeling for them. There was this show that used to come on Zee TV, “Khoobsurat”, my family members used to ask me, “Azel fashion show mein kaise chalte hain?” And well, that was all that was required to get me started with my catwalk.

I remember once, mom gave me an apple, and I said I won’t eat it until it is fully peeled. Baba (My grandfather) then told me that we shouldn’t peel off apples since most of the vitamins are in the skin itself. Like a good girl I agreed. I was unfortunately too good a learner, and too enthusiastic, next day I was attempting to eat a banana without peeling it off. Luckily mom always knows when I go crazy, so she stopped me, and I explained how Baba said we mustn’t peel fruits in order to get maximum benefit.

My first crush was Lord Krishna when I was around 3 or 4, I thought he was really cute on Doordarshan. I was intent on marrying him, Mom had to go through a lot to make me understand that I cannot go about proclaiming that Krishna is my boyfriend and that soon we’ll be married, I then moved on to Aamir Khan, then Shahrukh, then Hrithik, then Tom Cruise, then Hugh Jackman, then Robert Pattinson, Ian Somerhalder, Brad Pitt…I’ve lost count…. Mom now thinks being in love with Krishna was a better option.

Then there was this instance when I was around 4, I had gone out with my aunt to the market, she'd bought flower garlands for some puja, I wore them, sat on the floor of the cycle rickshaw and kept yelling and singing “Main Pagli Hoon” for the entire journey. My cousins took a snap from the balcony when I reached home, I can’t find the picture otherwise I would have scanned and uploaded it. My aunt couldn’t go to the market for a week or two then. Mom threatened that I’d be taken to a mental hospital if I kept on proclaiming that I was mad, I asked her, “Wow, will I get to see mad people?” I still ask her sometimes, if I could see a psychiatrist some day, the conversation might be interesting. She just stares at me or asks me to clean my room. :|

Some of my madness has been cured, some persists and some has escalated. Mom has been dealing with most of it, she is one strong woman. Love you :)

P.S: The Ujaala advertisement, “Aaya Naya Ujaala, Chaar Boondon Wala” is very misleading. I was around 8 years old. I thought I’d try washing my school socks with it and give Mom a surprise. I put the socks in a mug, quarter filled with water and put 4 drops of Ujaala in it, and the sock remained blue for the rest of its life. They should tell people that it is 4 drops in a bucket full of water. How was I to know that at the young, innocent age of 8?

Inspiration of this post: Juhi Agarwal, who just HAD to drink Sugarcane Juice yesterday, even though we were getting late for our dance event, and we reminisced about just how much fun it was to call the ice-cream wallahs each time we saw them.