With You, Always.
Trrrring Trrring.
“Hello?”
“Hi”
“Umm, Sorry, I can’t place your voice, Oh, and Btw, It is Friggin’ 4 in the morning.”
“Hey, don’t be rude, you shouldn’t be rude to me, or to anyone for that matter.”
“Okay, look, I was in the middle of an amazing dream and then I need to leave for college, this is the last time I am asking, who are you and what do you want? If you don’t answer, I’ll just go back to sleep.”
“Who am I and what do I want? These are perhaps the toughest questions to answer, and you want an immediate answer?”
“Intriguing, Bye.”
I hung up. What was that anyways and why did the voice sound so familiar? It sounded like, someone whom I’ve spoken to before, someone whom I speak with constantly. Never mind, I could sleep for another hour or so. As I turned on my pillow, I saw this boy sitting on my bed.
“What????! Who are you and what are you doing on my bed???!!” I just stared at the boy, as he stared back at me, with a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye. He must have been my age, or perhaps a year or two older. Thick black hair, curling on his neck and all messed up on his forehead. Slightly flushed skin, and emerald, no bottle green eyes with a sharp, proud nose and beautiful lips curved in a smile. Shock and appreciation created a turmoil within me, while his presence had a strange calming effect. It might have been a second or two, before he replied, but it seemed like minutes or maybe even hours,
“You hung up on me. I needed to speak with you.”
“I what?”
“I called you up just now; I need to talk to you about certain things.”
“This isn’t happening, I get weird dreams all the time, this is another one of them, you can’t be real, you are probably a 23 year old version of a Mills and Boon hero and you are just messing with my head.”
He laughed. It was perhaps, the purest, most mesmerizing laugh I had ever heard. Inspite of the sheer masculinity of it, it reminded me of a little cherub laughing and smiling.
“No, Azel, I am not “messing” with your head. I am simply here because you have been calling out to me, and I have been caught up in a lot of other issues. Now tell me, why did you call me and why do you think I hate you?”
“You know my name? Okay, don’t answer that, you’re sitting on my bed, knowing my name isn’t really a big deal. How did you get in?”
“I was always here darling, I just couldn’t talk to you then”
“Hey, don’t you darling me! You may be all cute and all, but I am just Priyanka to you, do not call me Azel or Darling.”
“Have you still not recognized me child?”
“Wow, you don’t look all that old you know, and now I am sure this is just another one of my weird dreams.”
“I am older than you could imagine, and younger than the idea just formed a Planck time ago. Yes, I know you like using that unit of time, while in one of your exaggerating moods.”
“Okay, look, now you are really creeping me out. Please tell me your name, and what is it that you want from me. See, let us just assume that I am a very dull person, and you explain everything. Okay?”
“Tell me something Azel, why didn’t you scream or yell for help when you saw me?”
“Err…umm… good question, does this mean I should have or should I now? You know I am pretty strong, I could beat you up or something. Sorry, I mean. Look, do not confuse me now. I didn’t scream, because I didn’t feel like, as crazy as it may sound, you don’t really look the hurting type.”
He smiled; he had this really pleasant, peaceful smile. Something so pure and pristine, that it was almost holy.
“Haha, well, yes I would never hurt you, but you have accused me many times of doing so, everyone does that, but I don’t mean to, really. Anyways, do you know how long I’ve known you?”
“No. I’ll cry now. Please don’t ask more questions. I do not know you, how will I know how long you’ve known me! This is the first time I am seeing you!”
“But, is this the first time you are talking to me?”
“No.”
“I knew, you’d be honest and I knew you would remember. I’ve been with you, longer than you’ve been on Earth, I’ve seen you laugh, and I’ve felt you cry, I am what you call your God.”
“What?!”
“Well, I know it sounds strange, calling myself God, you people have made a big deal out of it. You’ve been better, you talk to me, you speak with me and you fight with me, you are one special child, all of you are, and you are a friend.”
Suddenly, I was shy, and I slapped myself mentally for actually believing him. He was God? How can he be God, how can I talk to God? Yet, I’ve been doing so for a long time.
“How can you look like this? This is hardly the image we see around us.”
“Well, I just chose this look, from what you correctly identified as your mills and boon novel. You happen to like them a lot, don’t you?”
“Err, yes, are you sure you’re God?”
“Yep, hundred percent. Oh come on now, you yell at me every day, why so scared now?”
“I am not scared, just confused. Why are you here?”
“To speak with you, why are you doing this to yourself?”
“What? I am fine, what did I do?”
“You know what I am talking about, you know I don’t really make things happen, you know I won’t be able to take you back, you know you made a mistake, why won’t you move on?”
“Wow, one hope I had from you and you actually come to meet me and shatter it?”
“Azel, listen. We have been friends, ever since you heard about me, ever since you accepted that I am not a person, or God, or whatever, to be scared of or to be put on a pedestal. You have been honest about the fact, that you see me as a friend as a support system, then why do you keep telling me to give you another chance? Why do you do it, when you don’t believe in it? Why, after realizing your mistake and succeeding in getting on the right track, do you want to go back? You know it is not possible.”
“I know. I just like to delude myself, and escape into moments of hope and dreams.”
“Azel, it is okay to do that, it is human, but do not hurt yourself. Do not limit yourself. You know that to achieve whatever dreams you have seen for yourself, you have to work hard. You have to make it happen. I am always there to listen to you, to be there. To give you the push, but I cannot turn back time, not for you not for anyone.”
“I know, I just like to put some blame on you, I don’t really mean it, I know you love me.”
“I know, and I don’t mind that, I know you are still a baby in some ways but I want you to be happy and I want you to look ahead. There are many mistakes that you have made, they cannot be undone, but they can be stepped over and you can move ahead. Don’t cling to the past. It will not help.”
“Thanks.”
“For what?”
“Oh God, do I need to tell you? Oh, hehe, I just called your name, without actually meaning you! Hehe, sorry. Thanks for always being there and listening to me.”
“Sure, no problem. Now I have other people to talk to, keep in touch.”
“Yes, oh by the way, can you seriously not change things around you, like you know people going crazy fighting about you!”
“Azel, all of you have been blessed with a brain, I want each of you to use it to lead your life the way you want to, if I wanted to make you puppets I would have. You all have a free will, it is not right for me to curb or manipulate it.”
“Hmmmmm.”
“Okay, now go back to sleep, you can still make it to college after a nap. You have a Microprocessor class right, which you haven’t attended in weeks? Setting your alarm at 8, sleep now”
“No No, make it 9, last week I got proxy attendance, will go for the second class, okay? I mean it’s okay right?”
“Seriously, you’re going to ask God forgiveness for bunking your class from now?”
“Hehe, no, 9 then, Gnite”
“Gnite, Sweet Dreams, Sleep well and Bless you.”
He kissed me on my forehead and I slept.
Trrriiing Trrriiiing. “OMG! 9! Shit, not again, I’ll miss the first class again!!!” Wait, who was that boy in my room before I slept? Suddenly it all flashed back. Strange dream. Again. Is this a disorder? Getting weird dreams? I mean I talk to myself and now I dream of meeting God, who looks as if he is 23 and cute! Anyways, better get ready for college.
As I sit in my car in the traffic jam, and listen to ‘Lothlorien by Enya, from the LOTR soundtrack, on my E72 and look outside the window at a nearby park, I see a boy, six feet tall, lean and athletic. With dark, black, slightly wavy hair, looking at me with the greenest eyes ever and smiling. He is holding the hand of a toddler, or actually the toddler is tightly gripping his finger, with all his might, and the Sun comes out of the clouds. I look at him, I stare at the boy from my dream, and he winks at me and my car flashes by.
