Ziddi Kahin Ki

Ziddi Kahin Ki

“You aren’t supposed to be here.”

Ignore.

“You aren’t supposed to be doing this.”

Ignore.

“You aren’t supposed to be thinking that way.”

“You know, Ms. Know-it-all-little-friggin’-voice, instead of constantly telling me what not to do, you could help out and tell me what to do instead. I don’t have the time to sit and figure out, so either let me do what I think is correct, or just give me an alternative, okay”

“Fair enough, but if you can’t think of it, how can I? If you remember, we do share the same brain.”

“No, we don’t. You apparently are a product of my crazy brain, and just try to act all smart.”

“I don’t act smart, I am smart. Unlike you, the only thing I rely on is our brain, which I happen to believe is a pretty credible source.”

“Unlike me?”

“Yes, I do not get swayed by instincts, emotions or basically any of that nonsense. I rely on facts.”

“And you believe that is a good thing? The “facts” that you are such a fan of have been added by me in our, no my brain, it was my judgment, my intuition and my instinct that made me decide what I should keep and what I should reject. So how can you be in a better position without all of that?”

“Whatever, anyways you shouldn’t really be doing that.”

“Here we go again, Oh, just Shut Up, will you?”

“You are a very stubborn and rude woman.”

“Thank you and you are just plain irritating. Just shoo away, okay?”

“Huh. Don’t come crying to me.”

“Yes, fine. I won’t. I never do.”

“Azel, whom are you talking to?”

“Mom, do you want to kill me?! Why do you have to yell each time you enter my room? No one, I was just thinking aloud.”

“Seriously, you should stop behaving like a kid, grow up.”

Door slammed.

“What is wrong with everyone?”

“You said something?”

“Again!!! What is wrong with you? No, I didn’t say anything. Go.”

“Azeeeeeeeel! I can hear you speak.”

“Yes, coz I am audible Mom, congrats.”

“Badtameez ho gayi ho tum.”

“Haan, pata hai.”

“You, little voice, stop talking to me. Shit, where was I?”

“You were in the middle of doing what you shouldn’t be doing.”

“Yes, thanks, and I will continue to do it.”

“Ziddi kahin ki.”

After screwing that very thing up, well, I still don’t mind.

The thing is that, people just tell you what you shouldn’t do, what they couldn’t do. There are very few who tell you what to, and even that isn’t fool proof. Ultimately, after screw ups and successes, you just have to figure it all out for yourself. You have to be at it if you think it is right. Whether it was or not is something that only time will tell. At the end of it, it is your failure, your success and your life.

“Time has a way of demonstrating that the most stubborn are the most intelligent.”

-Yevgeny Yevtushenko

P.S. - I didn’t like the quote that much. I just liked the guy’s name, some famous Russian poet. Also, people who think I give too much Funda that is clearly not the intention. It is just that I like to talk to myself in writing too, and I need to convince myself every now and then. You of course can learn and help yourself, I am all for spreading knowledge, joy and bleh. Ciao.