The Zoo and You

I’d like to live in a world where a chicken can cross a road without having its motives questioned.

What is it with us humans? I mean I get all the intellectual curiosity some of us have, and the uselessness the rest exploit. Why animals though? You question a chicken crossing a road, you think a cat spoiled your day if it crossed the road, you’d run over a dog crossing the road? What? Seriously, poor things have no place to live till you decide to run them over or cook them for a meal, and they can’t cross the road without your permission? What is the big deal if an animal wants to get to the other side of the road?

This is just a specific example, I am sure you are aware of the most famous paradox of all, did the chicken come first or the egg? Okay, it’s the layman’s introduction to Evolution, but get over it. There are a lot of details to this question, it isn’t as dumb as it sounds and it isn’t limited to chicken! Egg can be considered to be that initial first cell, and Eureka, evolution states the same, life from a single cell. Leave the poor chicken alone! They came from an egg, laid by their mom and are pretty fortunate if not turned into an omelette before “Happy Birthday!”

Then the evergreen, “Kutte ki maut marega!” (you’ll die the death of a dog!” ??? What?? Do humans necessarily have a special beautiful death associated with them? What is with the dog dying? Why is bitch such a taboo word? Wonder if the dog society has abuses like, “Saala aadmi”....or perhaps...”
Aurat kahin kii”. I just read a news article about a man raping a bitch. :O. Seriously, WTF?? Bestiality may soon be almost as acceptable as homosexuality, but leave the animal alone if it isn’t turned on by you, okay?!?

I also never really liked the zoo, pay for a ticket and watch caged-bored-malnutritioned (at least in India)-animals like an idiot, never really got what fascinated most kids. Maybe something wrong with me, but, seriously, a monkey eating a banana you threw him, isthat funny? Really? So what would be natural, it throwing the banana right at your stupid face and dancing to “Papa jag jaayega” (pathetic song, pathetic movie...Housefull...eew.)

Then as if zoos were not enough to gape at animals, you have horny teenagers, desperate middle-aged fools, etc ogling away at animals making out on the road. Hello? They cannot rent a hotel, they generally do not have houses and we’re making sure that forests are extinct. What do you expect them to do? Turn celibate, or can you not access porn on the net that you have to resort to such levels of degradation and vellagiri that you ogle at unknowing animals in love/lust.

How can I forget the bollywood songs, “Koel si teri boli, ku ku ku ku....”, Haha.... imagine a woman speaking like that. “Kaali naagin ke jaisi zulfein teri.” Well, men still have the hots for Medusa it seems. “Padosan apni murgi ko rakhna sambhaal, mera murga hua hai diwana”.... Amitabh Bacchan ka song... neither is it funny, nor romantic, if the idea was to make it repulsive, good job.

Hunting as a hobby. Wow, so cool. I have a gun. I travel in a jeep. Btw, My dad bought all this. But I’m so cool. I went to the jungle, probably prepared weeks for it, and killed a baby deer drinking water. Wow. I am so cool. Seriously dude, F*** You. I mean you may not have come across these too often, but you could change the lingo according to the era you think they’d fit well, and it’d still hold good.

The concept of sacrifice, from ages ago till today, an undeserving human wants something, what should he do? No you don’t need to study, you don’t need to work hard, you don’t need to sweat. All you need to do is: Kill an animal. Want to know what’s in your destiny, kill an animal, mutilate it’s body, examine the body parts and you’ll have a prophecy. And then if you are Julius Caesar, you don’t even pay any attention to it after killing the innocent animal, you just act all smart and end up being stabbed 23 times.

I am not trying to be Maneka Gandhi here, but, it is really weird how humans are so obsessed with animals. I am yet to see the fascination reciprocated by them. Whether it is abuses, bad luck, pornography, death, or plain horrible songs you have to have an animal associated with it. Get a life people. Also, Stop throwing stones at or kicking stray dogs, it is really really disgusting.

“The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated”- Mahatma Gandhi

P.S.: I haven’t even begun on the extinction of various species, and the impact it has on the ecological balance, and on us. Understanding that requires education and intelligence, and would come after the moral/ethical issues many humans are yet to overcome or may be it would come from it. Go Google keywords like, “Ecological balance”, “Animal Extinction and Endangerment” etc. I have no special love for animals, they're living beings just like plants and humans (if they're not included in the animal kingdom, they're supposed to be though). I think people with Zoomania: Excessive fondness of animals, are also stupid, but at least they don't harm them. Also, what you see in purple above was going to be a tweet, but since I have no work, I wrote an entire blog post.