To Be Or Not To Be...

To Be Or Not To Be...

I have heard this line many a times. Forgive me for my ignorance; I can’t remember who wrote it. Shakespeare, maybe. He generally wrote such things. Anyways, the author or his intentions are irrelevant. When I think of this phrase, it reminds me of the mental dilemma I constantly face. To be ordinary or not. On face value, this is a silly question; I mean who wants to be ordinary, right? Wrong. Look around you, most people aspire to be ordinary, they not only dream of oblivion but also advertise it. The people who think out of the box are categorized as fools, losers or plain obnoxious.

People find herd mentality safe. Superficially it is. But only superficially. I mean it’s like not climbing the stairs for the fear of falling. Not learning to dance as you may be laughed at. Not tasting the dish your mom invented because you may not like it. This is safety? No. This is giving up. Resigning to conventions usually serves only one purpose, making your failures and non-achievements more palatable. What I find strange is that why can’t we be secure about success? Why can’t we feel our struggles to achieve to be safe and satisfying? Why is it that only copying is considered safe?

We are taught from kindergarten that each child is special, each is unique. When we finally accept this and set out on making a life of our own, then suddenly out of nowhere, the same people who said this to us come up and say that life isn’t easy. Everybody cannot be Mahatma Gandhi, Albert Einstein, Mother Teresa. Fine, I buy that. But surely, I can be Priyanka Pandey. Why don’t you realize that? Why does it happen that the strife for protecting me ultimately results in suffocating me? Why am I taught to be unique yet expected to be ordinary?

I have noticed lately, that the need for independence is usually interpreted as rebellion. Weird. I want to learn from the difficulties of life, and I am kept away from them. They say its convenience. Its luxury. What if I don’t want it? A wheelchair may be a convenience for someone who is physically challenged, but for a person who is not it will remain a handicap.

I realize I have very strong opinions on this issue, they may even be biased. But still, these opinions I apply only to me. What I don’t understand is that why don’t others think the same. Why does it have to be, I did it this way, you do it too. How can opinions be right or wrong just by the age of the person holding them? Okay, I realize people elder to me are more experienced, but why should it stop me from learning on my own. Had they done things differently, would my life be different then? Why don’t people realize that the only absolute thing is the concept of relativity?

There are so many questions to be answered. Each time I ask them. I get the same reply. You are young. You don’t know. How? My six year old cousin, Pali, knows more about Pogo than I do. So? Do I tell her, no Pali, I am elder to you, I know Pink Panther series is only a movie. There is no such cartoon. Of course there is! I was just watching it with her before coming here to manufacture more torture for you!

So, I still continue to think, why am I being pushed into ordinariness, into being plain, into being one of the crowd. People say that it is so that I don’t get hurt. Well, if I comply with them, I know I won’t because I’ll become numb. No ambitions, no dreams, so definitely no scope of disappointment. Although it’s ok, I’ll bear some trouble, I have been given a life and I intend to live it. Not finish it by merely existing. Not waste it by just reaching some set destinations without experiencing the journey.

I am a very sincere learner. Very stubborn. Since I have been taught that I am unique. I intend to believe in it and fight for it.